A New Song
by BessieWho
Summary: The Doctor's life will be forever changed when he discovers that nearly two years of his life have been wiped from his memory. When those memories return, he will do anything to get back what he lost. Even if it means convincing a daughter, who does not know him, to leave the world she grew up in.
1. Chapter 1

**_Author's Note _**

_The story is, by its nature AU, but I have endeavoured to work it around cannon events rather than making major changes to them. In my mind this series has grown into an epic, I have ideas for at least 12 stories but how much makes it to the page is yet to be seen! My first fanfic, and un-Beta'd, so please be nice. The beginning of this story is set at the end of 'The Snowmen'. _

_Disclaimer: I own nothing but an overactive imagination! Doctor Who belongs to the BBC. Chapter one borrows some dialogue from the last scene of 'The Snowmen'. _

* * *

**Chapter 1: Perhaps The Universe Makes Bargains After All**

Despite the sudden thaw, the wind was still chill, as Jenny solemnly followed The Doctor, through the London Graveyard. Madam Vastra walked in solemn silence next to her, the only noise their footfalls, muffled by the damp grass and the accompanying rustle of starched fabric. Jenny's eyes wandered towards the grim faced man ahead of her, as her thoughts turned towards what this latest loss would do to him. Things had started to go downhill when The Doctor had briefly turned up after he lost the Ponds, but River had kept him going and he had gone off travelling again. Only to return a year later, (although Jenny got the impression that to him, it had been longer, much longer) claiming he was retiring. He had been in a state; chronic depression, was how Vastra had described it. They had finally dragged the reason from him. Professor River Song was gone. Without her he seemed to have lost the will to go on. It was terrifying to see such a powerful and energetic man so lost, bitter and detached.

They had all tried to pull him out of it. She remembered one of their first encounters. They had been knocking on the TARDIS doors for nearly ten minutes when they finally opened to reveal the Doctor wearing the expression that had earned him the title of The Oncoming Storm, a look that would have made anyone else turn and run. Madam Vastra barely flinched, however, as The Doctor began to rage. "What part of I'm retired do you not comprehend, no visitors, no more getting involved. So stop pounding on my door! I'm moving the TARDIS where I won't be disturbed!" Muttering to himself he retreated back into the TARDIS "…super dense water vapour, yes that ought to do it."

Their attempts to illicit some spark of interest had gradually become more and more desperate, inventing mysteries when Victorian London failed to provide any real ones, Strax had even declared war on the moon at one point. Although it was hard to be sure if that was an attempt to cajole a response from The Doctor or just Strax being Strax.

They had been ready to give up, to accept that the Doctor had changed. Then he had met Clara, and she had awoken something in him, for a moment he had almost been back to the hopeful, energetic doctor they used to know. Now that she too was gone, Jenny feared the Doctor would sink further into his depression. He always blamed himself, because he cared, despite what he said to the contrary.

They stood side by side at a respectful distance watching Captain Latimer with his children pay their last respects by Clara's graveside. Jenny was pulled from her musings when Vastra began to question The Doctor.

"And what about the Intelligence? Melted with the snow?"

"No, I shouldn't think so." The doctor answered "It learned to survive beyond physical form."

Jenny relieved that he had answered and had not sunk back into his miserable silence tried to keep the conversation light-hearted, despite the setting.

"Well, we can't be in much danger from a disembodied Intelligence that thinks it can invade the world with snowmen."

Vastra cottoning on immediately added. "Or that the London Underground is a key strategic weakness."

"The Great Intelligence…Rings a bell…" The doctor muttered to himself, pulling out the initialled business card and walking toward the grave as the family left. "The Great Intelligence…"

Jenny ventured a tentative "Doctor?" as strode forward. He knelt at the graveside, his eyes transfixed upon the gravestone. They approached more slowly, fearing the sight of the stone had finally triggered a relapse.

Jenny read the engraved words that had caused such a reaction; Clara Oswin Oswald. Remember me, we shall meet again. Born November 23 1866, died December 24, 1892.

Turning back to glance at them he began to talk, quietly at first but with the same intensity as when he was figuring out a problem. "I never knew her name. Her full name. Soufflé girl… Oswin… It was her… It was soufflé girl again." Rising quickly to his feet the Doctor turned to Jenny and Vastra "I never saw her face the first time with the Daleks, but her voice, it was the same voice.

Jenny confused by his excited ramblings but relieved that he was talking like his old self questioned him again "Doctor?"

He seemed to grow more agitated, his hands gesturing wildly. "The same woman, twice. And she died both times. The same woman!"

Vastra finally getting frustrated by the nonsensical rambling demanded "Doctor, please, what are you talking about?"

"Something's going on. Something impossible, something…" he rubbed his hands together, his face lit up in excitement, then he pointed to them, "Right, you two stay here. Stay right here. Don't move an inch."

"Are you coming back?" Vastra asked as the Doctor began to run through the headstones.

"Shouldn't think so!" he called back.

"But where are you going?" Vastra sounded exasperated.

"To find her. To find Clara." Doctor laughed as he Ran back in the direction of the TARDIS.

Completely confused Jenny turned to her wife. "But Clara's dead. What's he talking about, finding her?"

"I don't know, but perhaps the universe makes bargains after all."

"Should we follow him?"

"That may be wise, my dear." Vastra turned to stride after the Doctor.

As they returned to the edge of the churchyard where the TARDIS was parked Jenny was startled by the presence of a hunched figure standing between the Doctor and the TARDIS. Not human she thought to herself, she could tell that much even from a distance.

As the two ran to assist their friend fearing another attack they faintly heard the doctor speak but only arrived in time to hear the aged woman reply.

"I am Baade, Salient Soothsayer of the 7th Verron Sisterhood and I have been entrusted with a message for the Doctor" Baade spoke with surprising authority. Stepping closer she continued to speak more softly as Vastra and Jenny watched on.

"Doctor you are so, so sad you need to remember why. Someone is lost. You need to hear your New Song. Let me help you."

"Who Clara, do you know who she is?"

"I know not of a Clara, I speak of a New Song."

"New Song?" He repeated confused.

"You need not fear, may I?" She asked reaching out a hand.

Knowing and respecting the Verron Sisterhood and more than a little curious, the Doctor nodded, allowing Baade to place a hand on his temple. Immediately The Doctor started to experience flashbacks of memories that weren't there a moment ago. Mistrustful at first he viewed the images of himself and River as if from a distance.

* * *

_He had his hand on River's pregnant stomach smiling as he felt the child within her move._

_River was pacing tiredly up and down the TARDIS corridors with a crying infant, humming a soft lullaby. _

_He was sitting in the nursery that they had got the TARDIS to create, leaning over an old familiar blue crib that now held his precious daughter, as he told her stories of the grandparents she would never meet; the girl who waited and last centurion. _

_He was delightedly clapping as his daughter pulled herself onto her feet for the very first time, a huge grin on her little face. _

_He was attempting to push a pink McLaren buggy across a field on the planet Felspoon, in the attempt to find the perfect picnic spot, with a good view of the swaying mountains. River laughing and rolling her eyes at his antics. _

* * *

There was an amazing clarity in the memories and a familiarity which assured The Doctor that they were in fact his and had not been faked, although he could hardly believe what he was seeing. He could now feel the gap in his memory; nearly 2 whole years were missing and he wondered how he had not noticed it before. Something had erased them from his mind, something powerful. With his acceptance of the truth of these precious, extraordinary memories he found himself no longer viewing them from outside but re-living them fully, feeling the emotions he had Doctor began to examine the memories in more detail, drawn to one in particular; the day everything changed.


	2. Chapter 2: The Day Everything Changed

**_Author's Note_**

_Warning: This Chapter contains River giving birth, nothing graphic but hopefully somewhat lifelike._

_These events take place between The Angels Take Manhattan and The Snowmen. (The TARDIS here is still the series 5 desktop.)_

* * *

**Chapter 2: The Day Everything Changed**

The Doctor was sat in his swing underneath the console tinkering with the TARDIS' systems. He and River were getting ready to watch a double supernova, two binary stars exploding with a force that would have overpowered a lesser vessel at such close range. It was the closest to something dangerous they had done in a while, yet still completely safe. The Doctor risked a glance up at his heavily pregnant and easily angered wife. River was sat in a padded, reclining pool chair in front of the open doors of the TARDIS. She was lazily gazing out at the view of two old stars that would soon burst into a colourful, luminous explosion that would briefly outshine everything else in the entire galaxy. The massive shock waves from that explosion would then trigger the formation of thousands of new stars and solar systems. The Doctor turned back to his tinkering, she had sent him away, claiming that he "kept looking at her as if she were a bomb about to go off any second". River was due any day, and despite her stubborn independence he wanted to be within earshot if she needed something. Hence the pretence of 'fixing' one of the TARDIS's systems.

"Doctor!"

The Doctor jumped up so fast he hit his head and dropped the coupling he had been about to replace onto the Thrust diffuser below, which immediately burst in a shower of sparks and in turn shorted out one of the transducer cells causing a few other systems to go offline, including the extrapolator shielding. Effectively stranding them with severely reduced shields in the midst of what was about to be a giant explosion.

Eyes darting from the wreckage around him to the woman above him he realised that River did not usually shout like that, which the Doctor quickly surmised could only mean one thing.

* * *

The TARDIS rattled and lurched alarmingly as he skidded into the carefully constructed room, half bedroom, half medical bay. Dropping a few of the towels he held piled in one hand he attempted not to spill the hot water in the 1920s kettle swinging wildly in his other hand. The first suitable receptacle he had laid hands on. He couldn't remember what the hot water was for, at present, but vaguely remembered that it was a required element.

River Song lay propped up on a bed, her eyes scrunched up in pain, with what looked like an aeroplane mask over her nose and mouth providing gas and air; the only pain relief River would accept.

"River, I'm here, don't panic!" The doctor tried to sound confident, as he put down the towels and water and swung a monitor towards him on which both River's and the baby's hearts rates were displayed.

The latest contraction now over, River gasped "I'm not panicking, I'm giving birth!

"Not quite yet" He said scanning her "probably another hour or so, I hope."

"Then get back out there and get the shields back up properly!" She shouted, making the Doctor flinch and half duck, as if he expected her to shoot at a non-existent hat. Then she suddenly burst into tears.

"River! What's wrong?" Shouting he could deal with but River crying was completely new and even more terrifying.

"I- I'm not ready... for all of this. I don't know how to be a mother! What were we thinking?"

He hesitantly stepped towards the bed, moving slowly as if approaching a wild animal.

"River," he said softly, taking her hand, "how many times do I need to tell you? You are fantastic and brilliant; you are going to be an amazing mother. No one knows how to be a parent, before they are one; it's one of those times you just have to shout Geronimo and jump."

* * *

River's ear splitting yell echoed throughout the room as the Doctor held her hand. She was squeezing it so tightly that his hand was going numb.

"River, I know it hurts-" he squeaked, winching from the pain in his hand.

"You have no idea what it's like!"

"-but just breathe. River, please, just breathe! The whole process will go far more smoothly if you just breathe!" He pleaded, shaking and rubbing his hand when it was finally released.

"I hate you!" River groaned

"No you don't." The Doctor ran another scan. He had long since thrown aside his tweed jacket, and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. He'd finally managed to get the shields back up a few minutes ago and returned to find River further on then he had anticipated.

"Why did I agree to let you deliver this baby?" she questioned

"Not much choice at the moment, we still can't dematerialise and things are progressing rather quickly." He said as he frowned at the scanner.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing sweetie?"

"Of course I do" he huffed, double checking the scanner. "River, is it ok if I… I mean I need to check… things" He stumbled awkwardly.

"Well do it then! There's nothing you haven't seen before." She grumbled as he pulled on a latex glove and moved to examine her.

"You're fully dilated." The Doctor announced with a smile.

"Are you sure you've done this before?" Her words ended in a howl.

"Yes lots of times," he boasted then amended "a few, twice, although one was a giant beetle but that's beside the point, the point is, you should begin to push now."

River screamed, pressing her knees against her chest, then slumping back against the cushions, breathing hard.

"Hang in there; it's going to be fine. I promise." The doctor moved to hold her hand again and push a wet strain of blonde of hair from her sweaty face. "You're doing brilliantly." he told her, gently kissing her forehead.

* * *

Worry and panic melted away into awe the moment he finally lifted his daughter with slightly shaking arms. He had been scared – was still completely terrified, if he was honest. Although he tried not to let it show.

"We have a daughter, a daughter, our little girl, River"

River laid back in exhaustion, listening to the cries of her new born daughter.

He could not wipe his goofy smile off his face as he looked down at the miniature little being in his arms, with her scrunched up face, scrawny limbs, ten fingers, ten toes and two hearts.

"Hello... I'm your Dad"

He felt a stirring in his mind and involuntarily took a sharp intake of breath as her mind touched his. He had felt her presence before, of course, since the telepathic centre of her brain had first formed inside River's womb, but now that he actually held her, the contact had ignited her untrained touch telepathy so strongly, that it filled the emptiness in his mind. It was the first time in centuries that he had been able to feel another Time Lord presence. Yet this was just the first hint at the bond they would share, something more than just another telepathic presence, more even than another Gallifreyan mind, she was his daughter.

"Sweetie, is she ok?" River had obviously noticed the gasp and the tear falling down his cheek. She thought there was something wrong with the baby, he realised, and quickly reassured her, his voice still full of the awe he felt.

"Better than ok, perfect, I can feel her, her presence in my mind, it's beautiful; she's beautiful." Pulling himself together he set about cutting the cord and wrapping a towel about her.

"I wish I could" River whispered.

For all her Time Lord traits, River's telepathic abilities remained under-developed; more advanced then the average human but less then the average Time Lord. The Doctor knew that if her mind had blazed like the infant in his arms, no amount of mental shielding and lack of physical contact would have prevented him from eventually recognising what she was.

Sensing his telepathic presence, without him first initiating a connection had always been beyond River, and The Doctor realised with a jolt, that the infant in his arms wouldn't be able to find a connection to River by herself either, not yet at any rate. Tenderly he carried his tiny daughter to River's side and expertly placed her into River's arms.

"Hello sweetheart" River murmured.

"Say hello to mummy." The Doctor said with a smile, placing a hand on the infants head and gently touching his forehead to River's. He formed a telepathic bridge letting River feel her daughter's mind the way he did, while also letting the infant fully feel her mother's presence for the first time.

After what could have been an eternity or a few seconds River looked up at the Doctor with tears in her eyes. He leaned down and gently captured her lips with own. For the first time in centuries, his hearts were completely full.

"It's like music and colours, all shiny and brand new" River sighed contently.

"Music? To you, that's like music?" Chuckled The Doctor.

River nodded, too overcome to care about his hinted jibe at her underdeveloped telepathy. Suddenly the Doctor started to giggle, he had somehow managed to resemble a responsible adult for the past fourteen hours but finally his relief at his daughter's safe arrival was rapidly dissolving the act.

"She's a Song, River. A new Song", he chuckled delighted at the pun. "Get it? A new Song!" River raised her eyebrows at him. "Hey, perhaps that's what we should call her; New Song!"

"You are not calling my daughter 'New Song'" River stipulated firmly "we already agreed, we are going to give her a proper name, something she can actually use, understand?"

He nodded obediently, although in his mind he was already calling her 'my New Song' and working out what it would look and sound like in various languages including both circular and old high Gallifreyan.


	3. Chapter 3: Nova

**Chapter 3: Nova**

The Next day, just as the Doctor was finishing the last of the repairs, River slowly entered the console room carrying her new born daughter.

"River! You should be resting." Scolded the Doctor, making her sit down on the captain's chair.

"Stop fussing Sweetie. I just thought that, seeing as we haven't left yet and I missed the main light show, it might be nice to take a look outside. Let our daughter have her first look at the stars." The Doctor's stern expression turned into a brilliant, wide smile at the suggestion.

"Well then, come along my new song" he said softly, taking the baby in his arms.

"That is not her name!"

"Of course not. Have you thought of a name yet?" The Doctor inquired offering his free arm to his wife. A few days ago, after having a list of suggestions blasted out of his hand, The Doctor had grudgingly accepted, that if he wanted to live to see his daughter, he would have to stop making his own name suggestions.

"No" admitted River, linking arms with her husband, as he contemplated the infant he held.

"What are you thinking, my love?"

"She's a baby, River, a tiny little baby... a Time Baby?"

"You sound surprised Sweetie. What were you expecting, an octopus?" River teased.

"Very funny, River. It's just she's so small! Time Lords tended to skip this stage. Time Tots emerged from the looms as young children. I had a daughter once who skipped childhood completely." The pain in his eyes was evident as he remember those he had lost. "She's so fragile..."

"No she's strong and clever, she will be just fine, you'll see." River retorted confidently, effectively halting her husband's downward spiralling thoughts and worries.

"You are wrong, she will be more than fine she will be exceptional." The Doctor said, a sparkle returning to his eyes.

River then quickly checked the shields and extended the air shell, before urging him towards the TARDIS doors and pulled both wide open.

"Welcome to the universe." The Doctor said proudly. The family stood gazing at the light left from the double supernova as it continued to glimmer in a hundred, vibrant colours.

"Nova" whispered River. The Doctor glanced at her, frowning slightly.

"It is not a nova; it's a double supernova, dear. A nova is far less luminous. This event is quite unique; normally with a binary system one white dwarf accumulates hydrogen from its companion, either through accretion or via a merger, raising its core temperature to trigger runaway nuclear fusion. But here both binary stars have undergone a sudden gravitational collapse, at virtually the same time releasing gravitational potential energy creating this unique double supernova explosion. I already explained all this. Is memory loss a side effect of giving birth that I don't know about?

"No, you daft man! 'Nova', it means 'new' in Latin and it's also a girl's name, a _proper_ name, what do you think? The Doctor smiled in amazed understanding, then before he could say anything River cut across.

"But you are defiantly not calling her supernova, before you suggest it!"

Smirking The Doctor began trying out the Name with different inflections. "Nova Song... No-va Song… N-o-v-a Song… Nova Song!"

"Nova Amelia Song" River corrected softly, explaining further when the man at her side seemed to stiffen at the name, that still tore at his hearts. "When I was Melody Zucker and Amy was ten years old she and I promised that if we ever had children we would name our daughters after each other, she kept her promise…" River trailed off sounding embarrassed. "Silly I know… we don't have to, forget I said that."

Leaning over The Doctor kissed the sad look from his wife's face. "It's perfect." he declared. Looking down at his daughter, all tiny and so, so helpless, he spoke softly. "Hello, Nova Amelia Song, what do you think of your name?" His daughter gave a little gurgle. The Doctor chuckled. "Cheeky!"

"What did she say?" River asked placing her head on his shoulder contentedly.

"She was complaining about how long it took us to name her!"

"Definitely an Amelia," laughed River.

"Definitely a Song," countered The Doctor teasingly, "and I wouldn't have it any other way," he added sincerely.

* * *

The memories continued to flash past in brilliant detail, until the memory gap was entirely filled. Coming back to the present, the Doctor found himself still stood in the chill church yard with the Verron soothsayer. The mystery of Clara Oswin Oswald wiped from his mind by this latest and more urgent revelation.

"Nova!" he gasped, tears rolling down his face. "How could I forget my own daughter?"

He tried to pinpoint when he had lost his memories of her and workout what had happened. His first thought was the silence, no; he would have detected something wrong and defiantly would have noticed the gap. Whoever or whatever had done this, had to have been extremely powerful to get into his head like that. The last memory he had of her was the trip to Felspoon but what had happened. Digging deep he hazily began to recall a very peculiar feeling.

"Like some sort of cross-dimensional disturbance masked by a psychic intrusion" he muttered while agitatedly tapping his temples, before exclaiming, "oh, no, no, no! I know where she is!"

The Doctor was almost at the TARDIS doors, before he ran back taking the soothsayers hands and breathlessly thanking her, his cheeks still shiny with tears but now with a blazing hope in his eyes.

"You can bring her back but only if she chooses." Warned the soothsayer as the doctor rushed back into the TARDIS.

* * *

**A/N**

**I hope you are enjoying the story so far. A big thank you to those who have followed! Please review, constructive criticism is always welcome. **


	4. Chapter 4: Dreams

**Chapter 4: Dreams**

He was there again. The Doctor, in his tweed jacket and bow tie, the ever moving hands and the strange device on his head. She was sure he was talking to her but there was no sound. His eyes were what always captured her attention, full of sadness and longing. She always felt inexplicably drawn to him and tried to take a step forward. All too soon the image was fading.

"Wake up sweetheart please, you had another episode." A familiar voice drifted through to Nova's, sleepy mind. The ground underneath her was hard, there were muffled voices all around. Nova opened her eyes slowly, blinking at the worried faces gazing down at her, she closed her eyes again for just a moment balling her hands into fists to rub her eyes. Fully awake she sat up, she was on the floor, in the middle of the shopping centre.

"It's a good thing I was here with you, you could have been badly hurt if I hadn't caught you." Exclaimed Aunt Ceri, a bossy but kind middle aged woman with an achingly practical outlook on life.

"Is she alright?" A bystander asked

"She'll be fine now thank you, suffers from narcolepsy, always has." Aunt Ceri answered abruptly.

"He was trying to tell me something I'm sure of it." Nova mumbled to herself still distracted by the dream.

"Hush now, let's get up and take you home," announced Aunt Ceri kindly helping the 17 year old to her feet. Nova let her Aunt fuss around her, purposely letting a lock of brown hair fall over her face and wishing the small crowd that had gathered would shove off and mind their own business. As if sensing her niece's embarrassment Aunt Ceri turned to the onlookers.

"All right, shows over, nothing to see, honestly, have you got nothing better to do?" Nova felt a wave of affection and gratitude towards her Aunt as the crowd were shamed into dispersing. As she walked along with her Aunt, Nova allowed her mind to drift back to the dream.

The Doctor had been part of her life for nearly as long as she could remember, as had the narcolepsy attacks, the two it seemed, went together. Yet as much as she hated unexpectedly falling asleep all over the place, she couldn't help but feel glad every time she saw him. Aunt Ceri said he was a figment of her imagination and had even dragged her see to a psychologist once but Nova was savvy enough to downplay the dreams. She knew he was real but didn't fancy being labelled mad. She had even tried to learn to lip read in the hopes of working out what he was saying. Sometimes she could make out odd words including her name but other times he seemed to be speaking a different language.

Suddenly registering that Aunt Ceri was leading her to the multi-storey car park Nova abruptly stopped.

"We can't go yet, I still haven't been to Waterstones to get my college books for next term. I need them, if I'm ever going to get into university." Trips into town were rare, as it was a long drive from Leadworth and Nova planned to make use of the large bookshop.

"You just had an episode, we need to go home, and maybe we should forget about university for a year, we could try that new medicine Dr Sherman was talking about, I mean how are you going to cope on your own?"

"I'll manage" Nova said stubbornly. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate everything her Aunt did for her, of course she did. The woman had raised her, loved her like her own daughter but her constant fussing frustrated Nova. As for the idea of not being able to go to university, she wouldn't entertain it. Nova had always felt like an outsider in Leadworth however hard she tried to fit in, university promised to be a new start, an adventure.

* * *

"No! I was almost there." The Doctor shouted pounding his fist on the console, his eyes scrunched closed. "I'm going to get you out!" he whispered desperately, the rage draining from him and a single tear taking its place.

Taking a deep steadying breath, he removed the contraption from his head placing it on the console and using the sonic on it, pausing occasionally to glance at the monitor in front of him displaying a screen of circles and lines. Whatever they were saying seemed to distress him. As he let his head fall against the screen in frustration. Closing his eyes while he felt the coolness of the screen against his forehead, and reached out for the usually comforting hum of the TARDIS. He had tried everything but there was no other way.

"Forgive me for this, Nova." he whispered in defeat. Straightening up he placed the contraption back on his head resigned as to what he had to do. Eyes closed he began the by now familiar process of Gathering Memories and shutting out things he didn't want his daughter to see. The time war, and her mother's death were tightly shut away but he knew he could no longer be so picky, so he let down more walls, things he wasn't proud of, things he had wanted to keep from her. Grimacing he began pushing them all towards the weakness he had made in the parasitic universe that held his daughter. A rare entity, the like of which, he had thought extinct, it had originally been created by The Pantheon of Discord but had since evolved, gaining a form of sentience. The Doctor hoped desperately that the memories would fade, once she was free.

* * *

It was late April, six months since the day she fell asleep in the shopping centre and Nova's last Term of Sixth Form College.

"I'm home Aunt Ceri" She shouted upon opening the front door.

"I've just cleaned that floor, so if you made your usual shortcut across the park, you had better take off your shoes. I don't want mud everywhere!" Aunt Ceri called back.

Nova sighed and took off her shoes, placing them on the old newspaper, Aunt Ceri had put by the door in anticipation. Catching a glimpse of herself in the hall mirror as she passed, on the way to her room. Her reflection showed an oval face, expressive brown eyes, a determined mouth and longish nose. Nova hated her nose, even more so since she had broken it, aged fourteen, having fallen asleep and collapsed into a brick wall.

Nova's room was hands down the untidiest in the house and a major source of contention between Aunt Ceri and herself. Upon entering she closed the door behind her and reached under her bed. Moving aside a discarded jumper, she pulled out an old journal, every inch of which, had been filled with notes and pictures and had subsequently been stuffed with extra pieces of paper; Nova's dream diary. She made a quick note about her latest dream on a blank post-it note and stuck it inside, before sliding the book back in place and settling at her desk to finish off some college work.

She wouldn't admit it to her Aunt but the dreams were getting more persistent and more intense. The man in tweed had always been there, as long as she could remember, then when she was nine the dreams had changed, other faces appeared, yet they were all inexplicably the doctor. After that the dreams rapidly became more involved, like stories unfolding before her. No, more like she was seeing snippets of The Doctor's life. Now it seemed that the moment she closed her eyes they would start and they weren't always pleasant. Sometimes the things she saw were terrifying or heart breaking. They were becoming all she could really concentrate on, as a result her college work was suffering and her Aunt was worried. Nova was worried herself.

"Perhaps I am going crazy" she muttered to herself as she gave her head a shake and tried for the tenth time to write something coherent for her physics essay. The promise of university forcing her to battle against the familiar doziness for another fifteen minutes. Eventually as images of a man with a long scarf, talking to a robotic dog took over her mind, she sighed, finally giving in and slumped onto the desk closing her eyes.

* * *

**A/N**

**More explanations coming up in the next chapter. I hope you like Nova, introducing an OC isn't easy but this is just the start of the journey! Please review and let me know what you think.**


	5. Chapter 5: Parasite Universe

**Chapter 5: Parasite Universe**

Gradually the images of the curly haired, wide eyed Doctor and robotic dog faded and Nova found herself standing inside what she knew to be a ship, a space and time ship, the TARDIS. The ship was always in the dreams and it was infinitely bigger on the inside, to the outside. She knew that while the exterior looked like a blue police box, the appearance of the interior often changed, especially the console room which was where she found herself, this one had three rotating sections near the high ceiling, above the central console, each covered in Gallifreyan markings. There were circular blue and yellow lights around the walls and several stairways leading up and down to different levels but what caught her attention was how very solid looking and real it all felt.

The tweed and bowtie Doctor was at the console, the familiar, strange looking device still strapped to his head. It looked like a metal bowl with wires circuits and panels sticking out all over and what appeared to be a large blue crystal encased by a metal structure on the top. He only wore it, on the occasions that he seemed to be talking to her directly, never when she was watching what she was sure were his memories. The Doctor squinted at her as if she was just coming into focus.

"Nova, hold on, I think I'm getting through this time, ah there you are!" Nova stared in shock, he had never talked directly to her before not with sound anyway. "Can you hear me?" he asked. Nova nodded mutely. The Doctor's eyes widened and a hopeful smile lit up his face in response.

"My Aunt says you are a figment of my imagination." She blurted out, then mentally kicked herself. Those were not the best first words she could have chosen to say to him, even if it turned out he was imaginary.

The Doctor looked at the floor his shoulders hunched, the hurt evident on his face for just a second. "And what do you think?" his voice was tentative as he looked up at her. Nova looked into his pleading eyes and took a cautious step forward.

"I don't know, this feels real, more real than ever before, but I'm asleep, so it can't be. Can it? It's just happening in my head.

"Of course it is happening inside your head, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" he said tapping her on the forehead with a finger.

Are you quoting _Harry Potter_? Nova questioned narrowing her eyes.

"I might be," he blustered, turning in a circle "but that's not the point, the point is, reality is more complicated then what you perceive and it can be faked or replicated, Ah it's little hard to explain," the doctor scratched his head nervously "Nova please just try to listen to me with an open mind. Can you do that?" He asked, resting his hands lightly on her shoulders, Nova nodded again. "Good," The Doctor sighed before continuing, stepping back again and beginning to gesticulate with his hands as he explained. "Say, you've been trapped in a faked reality; a parasite universe, since you were a baby, then someone from, oh let's call it, the prime universe, (though that's a matter of opinion,) tried to reach you, to talk to you, you'd have no frame of reference to distinguish what was real, so your brain could interpret the prime universe as a dream, when in fact your reality is the real dream."

"OK," Nova said slowly trying to make sense of what he had just said "but that doesn't explain why you are talking to me, who are you?" she asked curiously, not ready to believe him just yet, but wanting to know more.

"You've seen my memories. You know who I am."

"You're The Doctor," She replied.

"Yes! That's right. I'm The Doctor. Hello," he grinned "oh and by the way, I am your father," he added his words coming out in a rush.

Nova stood staring at him her mind registering his words. "Right, um, I think I should wake up now," she intoned.

"Oh, I was meant to lead up to that part more slowly, didn't mean it to sound so _Star Wars_" he added with a grimace.

"This is just a crazy dream and I'm going to wake up soon." Nova said to herself, backing away slowly until her back hit a blue wooden door.

"No! No, no, no, no, let me explain, please!" The Doctor begged, his hands raised in an open, placating gesture. "Everything you know as real, it's a parasite universe and it's alive. It's also a lot cleverer than it should be, it may even be semi-sentient. Ha! A sentient Universe, that's new." He took a moment to contemplate the idea, letting his eyes drift up before focusing back on Nova. "Well it's not really a universe more like a pocket of alternate reality. Anyway, it feeds off your potential energy, while creating a fictional life around you, with the information it absorbs from the surroundings and people it took you from."

The Doctor ran his hands down his face and Nova found herself empathising with his obvious frustration and distress.

"That's why it took you," he continued, "you were just ten months old and of course, babies have the greatest amount of potential energy. They literally could do or be anything. Especially you Nova, my daughter, the daughter of a Time Lord; part Time Tot, part Human, with such a long life ahead of you. When it sensed such an abundant food source it took enough information from mine and your mother's heads to create a fiction that you would accept while simultaneously removing our memories of you."

"But I'm human" Nova protested.

"No you're not, not really, it has been trying to block your genetic and telepathic signature so as to stop me from finding you, and so it made you human. It almost worked too."

"This is just another dream," Nova protested shaking her head. "Perhaps I really am going mad."

"You are not going mad Nova, those dreams you've been having are the result of the telepathic energies I have been directing at you, in order to break through to the parasite universe, weakening the walls until I was able to speak with you, using this." he said pointing to the device on his head, "I had to invent a way of magnifying and extending my telepathy beyond touch. Its lucky I had a Metebelis crystal lying about..." Suddenly something on the console started to beep. "No, no, not yet, I'm losing you." The Doctor shouted as he began to fade from Nova's sight.

"Nova!" The voice broke through Nova's dream. "Nova, dinner's ready," and she was abruptly brought back to reality. "Are you coming?" her Aunt yelled again.

"Coming" Nova yelled back as she stretched and scrubbed her face with her hands, she had dozed off at her desk. She left the room frowning and trying to shake off the odd dream. As she crossed the hall she had a peculiar feeling that something was different about her surroundings; less solid… and the dream wasn't fading as they normally did; it still felt so real. She rubbed her eyes again "pull yourself together Nova" she muttered under her breath as she walked down the stairs.

* * *

The Doctor's hands were trembling and he felt tears welling up in his eyes. He had talked to her! He was a ball of conflicting emotions. Happiness, hope, sadness, regret, and love, not to mention worry. He had finally broken the walls down enough to talk to his daughter, soon he would be able to get her out. He began to feel quite nervous; He didn't know if he knew how to be a father anymore. It was possible he was going to make a complete mess of it. He had been bitter and broken and had long since given up on living for himself, but he had found a reason to go on; his daughter.

She didn't believe him, not yet and he couldn't get her out unless she also severed her link with the parasite. What if she chose to stay in the parasite universe? What if she was happy there and when he got her out she resented him, for taking her away from that life? He brushed off these doubts and prepared himself to reach out to her again. It was selfish, he was a selfish, lonely old man and he would get her out whatever it took.

* * *

**A/N**

**Thank you to everyone who has followed or favourited, it really means a lot to me. I will probably be posting about once a week from now on, if I manage to stay on schedule. I've already got the whole story blocked out but I'm still writing and re-writing large sections, so any reviews to help me improve are most welcome!**


	6. Chapter 6: Nova's Choice

**Chapter 6: Nova's Choice**

That night as Nova sank into her pillow she felt the dream stirring even before she was properly asleep. She found herself back in the same console room with the floppy haired man, wearing a bowtie. He walked up to Nova and placed his hands on her shoulders, looking at her beseechingly.

"Nova Amelia Song, I know you don't believe me, yet, but please, keep an open mind, ask me questions, let me show you more memories, anything, just don't shut me out, please." He pleaded.

Deciding that there was no harm in talking and telling herself, it didn't mean she had to believe any of this, Nova began to clarify what she knew.

"You're an alien?"

"I'm a Time Lord." He responded levelly.

"So what would that make me? Part Time Lord…Time Lady?"

"Yes." Confirmed The Doctor.

"Right and If you are my father, my mother would be…?"

"River Song, you've dreamt about her" Nova nodded, The Doctor's answer didn't surprise her, out of everyone the doctor had travelled with River had fascinated her the most and she had spent pages and pages of her dream journal putting together everything she learnt about River Song. That didn't mean she was ready to believe him but perhaps part of her wanted to.

"And I've been dreaming your memories?"

"Yes." His answers were short and his emotions hidden, as if he were afraid that anything more might scare her away.

"You're the reason I have narcolepsy, you push a memory at me and I fall asleep." Nova could help the accusation in her tone.

"I didn't know that my efforts to reach you would be interpreted in that way, it makes sense, I suppose." He sighed. "I also didn't expect that it would take this long for me to break through. I'm sorry, I know it has made life difficult for you, but it was the only way to weaken the parasite."

"If you're in my head can you see my memories too?" Nova asked suddenly. That possibility hadn't really occurred to her before and it made her a little uncomfortable.

"I get brief flashes occasionally," he admitted, "like inadvertent feedback, no way near as vivid or complete as the memories you've seen." In truth he had welcomed any glimpse he could get of his daughter, discovering from what he saw, that she thought she was human, was being brought up by an Aunt and that his telepathic intrusions were being interpreted as narcolepsy by the parasite universe. The last of which he couldn't help but feel guilty about."

Nova turned away letting her gaze fall on the various levers and switches on the console allowing herself time to absorb this information. Suddenly a new question occurred to her and she turned back to find The Doctor watching her.

"OK, answer this, you said before that this universe, my reality, was constructed from your mind and also claim that you have been pouring your memories into my dreams. So why are they so different?" She demanded, adding. "I mean my dreams were all planets and aliens, exploring and running, while my life is just ordinary and a bit boring really."

This question or maybe the way it was asked seemed to delight The Doctor who beamed at her.

"Oh look at you! You brilliant, clever girl, asking the right questions. Yes well, I believe the parasite universe tried creating something more like your mother and mine's real life with you, to start with but it couldn't maintain it. Creating all the new places and times was siphoning off too much energy for its liking, so it tried something smaller to maximise the amount of energy it was left to feed on. It really had to dig deeper into the memories of your mother and I to find a scenario that could be described as boring!" He looked a little impressed at the idea of a boring memory and thought for a while.

"Tell me where you live is there a duck pond; without any ducks?"

"Yes, by the village square" Nova answered with a confused frown.

"Ah, Leadworth, quiet, little Leadwoth with its duck pond and its post office." He smirked when Nova's response confirmed his guess, then grew more serious as he continued to explain. "It made you believe you were human to block your telepathic and genetic signature but it also took away your chances for adventure keeping you in as small an area as possible. Think back, every time you've tried to get away, something has stopped you, unexplained things to keep you there. As if the universe is against you, well in this case it actually is." He paused slightly stealing himself to add, "But you can fight it, you can break out, if you want to."

"What? Go to your universe? What about my Aunt and my friends, are they not real?" Nova asked, sounding appalled, although a part of her found the idea appealing all the same.

"They were constructed from fragments of memory, they are only real to you and only as long as you believe they are." Nova scrunched up her eyes trying to take this in, her Aunt was the only parent figure Nova had known and although they weren't what you could call close, the idea that she wasn't real, that she wouldn't exist if Nova choose to leave was hard to absorb.

"I'm sorry Nova, I can't make you leave; it's your choice." The Doctor sighed staring at the floor

"If I wanted to, how do I choose to leave?" She found herself asking, in spite of herself.

"The moment you stop believing in this universe it will start to break down. The more the walls weaken, the easier it will be for me to reach you. I can come and get you but I need you to give me something to latch onto; like landing lights. Nova, I need you to call for me, underneath this reality you're a Time Lady, just a spark of a telepathic signature and I can pick it up with this." He explained pointing again, to the device with the Metebelis crystal, balanced on his head. He lifted his gaze to Nova and reached out to cup her cheek. "You just need to shout with your mind. You're my daughter and I've missed nearly 17 years of your life, I don't want to miss anymore."

With that, a flood of new images past through Nova's mind; memories of her mother and father, of her, as a baby, she also felt the emotions that accompanied the memories and was overwhelmed by a sense of love. Soon tears were rolling down her face. She realised she wanted, more than anything, to believe that this was real. One last memory touched her mind as she began to wake, it was her father, the bowtie wearing alien, desperately racing around the TARDIS in his search for her. She could taste his grief and love as she gazed at his determined expression. She belonged with him on that ship, she had always known it, or at least, her heart had, if not her brain. The realisation was immense and terrifying.

* * *

Tears were still falling down her cheeks as she came to. Immediately she recognised the same feeling she had woken to last time, as if the world was less solid than the dream. Nova tossed her duvet off and sat up placing her bare feet on the floor. She could feel the carpet under her toes but at the same time it didn't feel real. She was afraid. She had to choose. Choose between the quite life, she knew and all the people she cared for or a strange world she had thought of as a dream, yet had always been drawn to.

Then, the walls of her room began to fade, melting in front of her eyes like some kind of apparition or dream and she realised on some level, she had already made her choice. Panicked, Nova raced down the dark hallway even as it began to disintegrate and into Aunt Ceri's room, the woman who had raised her for 17 years had already begun to disappear. Fading along with everything else in the room even as she lay sleeping.

"No!" screamed Nova, she bit her lip, telling herself that her Aunt had never been real. It didn't help and she felt sick, as she backed away whispering, "I'm sorry." Turning away from the distressing sight, she raced down the stairs before, they too, could dissolve. Nova fled the house she had grown up in, racing bare foot out into the garden. It looked like some giant creature had come along and bitten chunks of reality from the world, what was left, was rapidly fading.

Remembering what The Doctor had said about landing lights, Nova scrunched her eyes closed and screamed "Doctor" inside her head, picturing the man in the bow tie. When nothing happened she opened her eyes to the crumbling world, what if this didn't work she panicked as she tried again, shouting out loud.

"Doctor! Help me. Dad!"

A wheezing, grating noise filled the still air, Nova had heard it many times in her dreams but this was real. It filled her with hope and Nova twirled around to locate the source. The blue box pulsed in and out of sight in the middle of a flower bed, while reality evaporated around it.

As soon as the blue box was fully materialised the door opened to reveal The Doctor, her dad, she reminded herself.

"Nova hurry, the TARDIS can only last in this universe for one point seven minutes" he shouted holding out his hand.

With a last look at the crumbling world around her Nova raced to the TARDIS hardly slowing as he pulled her inside. The Doctor closed the doors behind her and ran to the console preparing to take off. Nova stood frozen by the doors. Her mind was reeling, unable to process everything that had just happened.

As they left the only world she had known, the time rotor grating up and down, she felt her whole body prickle and something rushed at her mind, she shrieked in pain before falling into darkness.

* * *

**A/N**

**Thank you so much everyone who has followed, favourited or reviewed! **

**The next chapters will be about Nova coming to terms with her decision and discovering more about who and what she is, then in true Doctor Who style we dive into an adventure!**

**Please take a minute to review. **


	7. Chapter 7: Not Human

**Chapter 7: Not Human**

Nova came too, slowly. The first thing she realised, before she opened her eyes, was that she was laying on something hard and gritty and someone had their fingers pressed to her forehead. Wondering where she had passed out this time, she allowed her eyes to open slowly, expecting the light to sting them if she allowed it in too quickly. However she discovered that her pupils' reaction was almost instantaneous, making her vision of the person with his fingers on her temples instantly sharp and clear. It was not her Aunt, as she had been expecting but The Doctor. All at once she remembered everything that had happened.

"Hello." The Doctor smiled down at her tenderly in a way that spoke volumes.

"Hello," her throat was dry and her mind was reeling. 'So this is real, not just a crazy dream' Nova thought to herself, 'this is actually happening!' A light breeze rustled around Nova making her aware that her feet were bare and she was still wearing her pyjamas, having ran out of the house straight after waking. Taking in a deep breath, she was treated to a barrage of smells. Immediately, her mind began to catalogue them but before she could puzzle about this new development, she was distracted by The Doctor scanning her head with his sonic screwdriver.

"How do you feel?" He asked. With a frown, Nova tried to recall exactly what had happened before she passed out.

"My head hurt; it felt like it was going to explode and I guess I passed out but it's a lot better now." She finally replied.

"Ah, yes, Sorry about that, I may have slightly underestimated the impact of you suddenly regaining your telepathic capabilities, while inside the TARDIS, who, clearly, was a little over enthusiastic in welcoming you."

"What?" She tried to sit up but The Doctor stopped her.

"Probably best to lie still a few moments, until you reacclimatise."

"Reacclimatise?" She questioned.

"It was the parasite universe that made you human." He explained, while peering at the screwdriver, apparently satisfied by the results he continued. "When you crossed into this universe your true biology was restored. The moment that happened the TARDIS recognised you and tried to initiate a telepathic connection, basically saying hello… or welcome back, possibly goodbye, she's not too good with tenses… except you were completely unprepared so it overwhelmed your synapses and you passed out. I'm blocking the TARDIS's telepathic circuits from connecting to you at present but that means we'll have to stay out here for a bit," gazing around he added, "lucky it doesn't usually rain too much on Felspoon, as we appear to be rather a long way from the nearest settlement."

Nova lay staring up at the deep blue sky, too blue with a hint of purple, definitely not the colour the sky should be. The Doctor smiled fondly as Nova turned her head back to him.

"Last time you were here you were just a baby, we had a picnic." He pulled out a stethoscope from his inside pocket. "If we could go back in the TARDIS I would run a full scan but this will have to do for now. May I?" Added The Doctor placing the stethoscope in his ears. Nova nodded The Doctor placed the cold metal on her chest then he moved it across to the right, Nova frowned and was about to comment on his dubious medical skills, when he proclaimed "both working fine, a little fast but that's to be expected."

"Both, what do you mean both?"

"Both hearts of course"

"I haven't got two hearts… have I got two hearts?" The teenager asked, wide eyed.

"Listen for yourself" said the Doctor passing her the stethoscope. Nova hooked it in her ears and The Doctor helped her correctly place the metal disc over one heart. Underneath the strong beat, a second quieter beat could be heard. Then when the disc was over the other heart, Nova gasped at the same double beat she could hear there as well. Gradually Nova became aware of her body in a way she had never dreamed of as a human, she could feel the workings of her hearts and other internal organs.

"I'm not human, really, very, not human, I'm… I'm…" she stuttered.

"A Time Lady" supplied The Doctor "well, mostly, more than half, with just a bit of human. River, your mother wasn't entirely human, more like Human, plus Time Lord."

"I know, I mean, I remember that bit from the dreams, um, your memories."

"Right…" a pained look flashed past his eyes, "I'm sorry you had to see everything that you did."

"Is she here? River Song?" Nova asked suddenly, and a little hopefully.

"No, she's…" The Doctor scrunched his eyes, fingers squeezing the bridge of his nose before continuing. "She's gone, Nova."

The Doctor's hearts felt like they were breaking as he finally uttered those words to his daughter. The Doctor had felt guilty the moment he had learnt of Rivers pregnancy. It hadn't been long after losing the Ponds and hadn't been planned. It wasn't that he didn't want her, once he had got over the initial shock, the idea of being a father again, had been incredibly appealing. But he had hated knowing that, one day, River would eventually leave for the library. Leaving their child without a mother and there was nothing he could do to change it. He had hoped, that day, would be a long way off.

The Doctor thought of River and everything she had been through because of him. He had seen what Amy, his best friend, had been through missing out on seeing her child grow. Now his daughter will never know her mother.

"Was it the library?" Nova's timid question instantly jerked the Doctor from his miserable thoughts, 'he'd locked that memory away she couldn't have seen, could she?' He thought in horror.

"I don't remember, I don't think I ever saw… the memory sort of stopped." Nova continued to puzzle aloud "Then you were talking to, um, Donna, I think it was? Something about a screwdriver and you'd saved her in a computer." Nova frowned trying to recall more information from her 'dreams'.

"I saved her the only way I could." the lump in his throat made his voice sound strained.

Nova didn't know what to feel; she hadn't had a mother for nearly 17 years, so surely learning that this woman, she had never known was dead, shouldn't affect her like this but that didn't stop the sense of loss she felt. She had always wanted a mother and father since she was small and been secretly envious of the other children at school.

"She didn't remember, didn't know about me?" Nova realised.

"No, we both had our memories wiped, it was as if that time with you had never happened, we simply went back to how things were before with no idea that someone so precious, had been taken from us."

"What about now, could she remember now, the saved version of her, I mean? Could you…?"

"No, not even now. The Doctor lied."

He could change that if he went back, he could make River remember, but he never would. She had gone to the library, with no idea that she had been a mother. Now she would never meet their daughter or see her grow up. Would she have still gone looking for danger, if Nova had never been taken? He stopped that line of thought, the library was a fixed point, 'what if' wouldn't change things. He couldn't go back now, wouldn't go, afraid of saying goodbye, but more afraid of what it would mean for River, were she to learn of the child she couldn't now be there for. No it was best that she didn't remember. Neither of them would have to experience the heartbreak of meeting only to say goodbye.

After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Nova began to sit up, the scene in front of her immediately distracted her from the awkwardness of the conversation.

"The mountains are moving!" Nova groaned and clutched The Doctor's shoulder, "perhaps I should lie down again?"

"Oh no, that's fine, they _are_ moving, this is Felspoon. The Doctor explained. Nova felt another wave of dizziness wash over her only vaguely aware that The Doctor was still talking.

"The mountains sway in the breeze. Isn't it cool, mountains that move?" The Doctor trailed off, noticing Nova's discomfort, "But possibly not right at this moment, maybe you should try looking out over the lake instead." Nova shifted around so her back was to the mountains, the lake in front of her was a vivid purple, but at least it didn't move.

"Are you okay, you look a bit pale?" asked the Doctor.

"Still feel a bit dizzy."

"Hum, I don't think what you're feeling, is in fact dizziness. When I'm on a planet I can feel its rotation and its trajectory, so can you. You're feeling the turn of the planet right now and interpreting it as dizziness. Try focusing on the rhythm for a bit and then push it to the back of your mind."

Nova was feeling so many new and different sensations, she felt like a stranger in her own skin. Everything felt off, all her senses were overloading. Her hearts felt downright alien, to be fair, after nearly 17 years as a human, they were. It was hard to concentrate on anything but she tried and was relieved when the dizziness eventually began to lessen.

There you go, you'll be fine in a bit. The Doctor said, with over the top cheeriness.

"I'm barefoot, in my pyjamas on an alien planet, with swaying mountains, in a different universe, with an alien, who's apparently my Dad and I'm part Time Lord, with two hearts. Yeah, course, I'm fine… I'm really not fine… I think I'm hyperventilating… except I'm not running out of air… why?"

"Superior pulmonary system, complete with Respiratory bypass should you need it." The Doctor stated, then softened his voice. "Nova I know you're scared, it's a lot to take in, try breathing this in, it'll help." He produced a small bottle of sweet smelling powder and held it under her nose.

Nova tried to take a breath, the powder sent pleasant tickles down her airways, and the sensation was distracting enough that she forgot she was panicking.

"How's that feeling?" he asked, trying to gauge how she was progressing.

"Better, thanks." She took a few deep breaths then, deciding to ask the most obvious question first, she ventured. "So, this is all real isn't it? I feel awake, more awake then I've felt, ever, actually. The Doctor nodded, knowing that she was still in shock. He didn't want to do anything to distress her any further.

"You're really my father," Nova said quietly.

"Yes, but I understand if you're not comfortable with that, right now, me being your dad, I mean, it's a lot to take in. I could, if you wanted, start by being your friend, if that would be easier, for now…or…"

"Yeah, okay" Nova nervously brushed her hair from her eyes, only to catch The Doctor's eye, as he was also completing the same action of running his fingers through his fringe. After a pause The Doctor burst into motion like a toy with new batteries.

"Right, Hello I'm the Doctor" he grinned, enthusiastically offering her a hand to shake as if they had just met.

"Nova Song" she replied, shaking the offered hand with a small smile.

"It's very nice to meet you, Nova."

Nova was surprised to find herself already feeling more at ease and trusting this man. Well, he had been a part of her life for as long as she could remember, even if it had just been dreams she reasoned. Then with that thought she began to feel guilty.

"Can I go back?" She asked weakly.

"What? Back… why?"

"Aunt Ceri, I'll never see her again?" It began to sink in She couldn't go back, her Aunt was gone, her friends, her world and it had been her choice.

"Oh! No, I'm sorry."

"Everyone's gone, I kill…"

"No! Nova you mustn't think that, they were never real! It was a fiction created by a parasite, you've done nothing wrong."

"They were real to me, for nearly 17 years. I watched her fade right in front of me and it was my choice." She cried.

The guilt of what had he had done, forced his daughter to destroy a universe, no matter how fake, tore at The Doctor's hearts. His own selfishness had led to this. He had led her to make the same, soul destroying decision he had made on Gallifrey. Had he really fallen so far? Was he even suitable father material? Should he have left her there?

Nova bit her lip, trying to hold back the tears that continued to flow. She had chosen a mad, bowtie wearing man over her whole universe. The promise of a father, who she wasn't sure was even real, over her Aunt and friends and now they were all gone. Only existing as memories in her head. What frightened her most, was the knowledge that, she thought she would do it again, if given the choice.

"Could I have left, without the parasite universe collapsing?" she sniffed.

"No, it was built around you. You were its life support system, as much as it was yours. It needs a host to survive. It's sealed off now, I couldn't let it suck in any more children."

"So when I died, it would have taken another baby to sustain it? It can't take anyone else now, it's good it's gone." She said, trying to justify her choice, it didn't help. Hugging her arms around her she got to her feet and moved off in the direction of the lake.

* * *

**A/N**

**Thank you so much everyone who has followed, favourited or reviewed! ****And a special thank you to Bookaholic27 and kittymyth96 for your encouragement.**

**Don't be shy, take a minute to review and tell me what you think. **


	8. Chapter 8: Time and Lanterns

**Chapter 8: Time and Lanterns**

"Can you give me some time?" she had said, helplessly. "Just some time alone."

"Of course. Absolutely." he had replied "Time. Oodles of time. As much time as you want. Lots and lots and lots of time. Time happens to be my speciality, that and savoury puddings. Yes. Right then. I'll just…I'll just wait here, I suppose. He had watched her walk towards the lake shouting an anxious "Don't wander too far," at her retreating form.

He realised then, that he was going to have to find something to do, to keep busy and prevent himself from following her. She needed time, which was understandable and as much as he wanted to comfort her, to wrap his arms around her and wipe away her tears, as he had done when she was a baby, he held himself back. She had grown up without him and didn't really know him, apart from in her dreams. But how much time was she going to need? Starting to walk around, he poked at a nearby shrub just for something to do. Sneezing violently when it released a flurry of pollen in his face.

Waiting was not his strong point and he sighed looking up at the blue-purple sky. It would be getting dark soon, he rummaged in his pockets hoping to find some sort of torch or lamp and coming up with a small glow stick. "Well that's a bit rubbish," he grumbled. Then his eyes lit up with an idea. He could make a bonfire! It would provide light, heat and warn off any nocturnal critters that might be around, plus gathering sticks and dried leaves would give him something to do while he waited.

* * *

Nova's thoughts were a mess. She raked her hands down her face. She had asked for some time to herself, knowing she needed to try and process everything that had just happened. But now she felt completely unable to deal with anything. Was she meant to grieve for people who hadn't even been real? Thoughts swirled around her head in an emotional mess.

She looked out over the alien landscape, feeling the grainy soil and occasional patches of grass under her bare feet. I'm on another planet she whispered to herself in awe and couldn't help but feel a little excited, in spite of herself. Maybe The Doctor would take her to see all sorts of places. She glanced back in time to see him prodding a plant and getting a face full of what looked like yellow smoke. Okay, so he was a bit odd but she had seen all the impossible, brilliant and terrifying things he had done and he was also very kind. She knew that as a fact. It hit her then, she, Nova Song, was the daughter of a Time Lord. She was The Doctor's daughter. A man who had been to the beginning and the end of time, who had made whole armies turn and run away, he had even rebooted the universe! How could she ever live up to that? She was so ordinary, the most exciting thing to happen to her in the other universe was the time her working model of a bio fuel engine had set off the school fire alarm. What if she disappointed him? What if he decided he didn't want her after all? What would happen to her, where would she go? There was no way back and Nova began to feel very small and alone.

* * *

The Doctor kept a watchful eye on Nova all through his bonfire preparations. Half afraid that if he took his eyes of this miracle she might disappear. She had continued to wander by the edge of the purple lake collecting her thoughts. They were alone in seemingly harmless surroundings, yet still he was anxious to get her back to the TARDIS. There was so much that she needed to know, to be safe, so much that she had missed out on learning in her time spent as a human. His first priority was to deal with her telepathy so that she could enter the TARDIS safely and protect her own mind. He also wanted to assess how much she could recall of the 'dreams'.

Eventually after the bonfire was made, ready to be lit, The Doctor stood nervously straightening his bowtie before making his way towards Nova.

They stood side by side, silently looking out over the violet lake. Two strangers in a vast universe and yet unexpectedly they now had each other. Nova seemed captivated by the darkening sky and the ghosts of two moons slowly growing more visible in the waning light.

How many moons are there?" she asked, finally acknowledging his presence. The outline of a third, smaller moon had just begun to show.

"Four, but at this time of year, you won't see the fourth until just before sunrise." he explained as the young woman continued to stare at the sky. She was deflecting from what she was actually thinking about, it was something he did so very often. The temptation to avoid addressing the painful subjects was immense but The Doctor knew that's what he had to do, for her sake.

"Nova, I know you're scared and upset, and I am truly sorry for what you're going through but I want you to know, I'm here. I'm here if you want to talk. What happened wasn't you're fault, you've got to believe that. If you want to blame anyone, blame me; for taking so long to get you out, for letting you get sucked into that thing in the first place, for being selfish enough to pull you out when you were happy there…"

"I don't blame you." Nova uttered softly. Hesitantly she reached out and took his hand. The Doctor looked down at her in surprise but his heart filled with joy and he smiled a bright genuine smile. It might be a small step but it gave him hope that one day no matter how challenging it was, they could be family again.

"I always had this strange feeling that something was missing or just not right somehow. Odd that in a universe built around me; I never entirely felt like I fitted in." Nova said, gazing back over the lake and releasing his hand. "But I'm really going to miss everyone." Her voice was small and strained.

"I know and you should. Seventeen years is a long time and I'm sorry about what I said before. Of course they were real to you. But you know Nova they are never truly gone, they are all still in here." He tapped her lightly on the head.

"It's not even like they're dead they never existed. I just wish I could have said goodbye or I don't know, do something."

"Like what?"

"I don't know." She sighed. "When my friend Bobby's Granddad died her little sister was too young to go to the funeral so instead she and Bobby lit lanterns with goodbye messages on and let them go."

"Lanterns?"

"Yeah, paper lanterns, sounds silly I suppose?"

"No, it sounds very… human. And perfect. We should do that." Said the Doctor heading back toward the bonfire he had made and lighting it with his sonic screwdriver.

"Where are we going to get a lantern?" Nova asked, having followed him.

"We'll make one."

They spent awhile putting together a lantern from the odds and ends in The Doctor's pockets, which happened to include a kite for some reason and an alien candle that smelled a bit like fish. After a while The Doctor started rambling about the original use of the Chinese lantern and how its invention was wrongly attributed to the military strategist Zhuge Liang. When it was a young soldier called Bing, who had in fact first come up with the idea, centuries earlier with a little help from himself, of course.

The Doctor fell silent when it was time for Nova to write the names of all her friends and family on the lantern. Under Aunt Ceri's name she simply wrote;

'You loved me like a daughter. I will never forget you. Your Nova.'

Together they lit the lantern and watched it float away into the darkening sky. The Doctor held her hand as a silent tear rolled down Nova's cheek. It wasn't until the lantern had disappeared that either of them spoke.

"What happens now? I mean to me? Can I stay with you?" she finally asked looking at her bare feet and feeling a bit guilty over thinking of herself.

"Of course you're staying with me!" The Doctor exclaimed as if the idea of anything else was ridiculous. "You're my daughter, I've spent years working on pulling you out of that parasite universe. I am not letting you out of my sight, for quite some time, at least until you're four hundred and two."

Nova chuckled looking up into The Doctor's twinkling eyes. The idea of living that long completely incomprehensible to her at the present. She still had her doubts and fears that she might be a disappointment to this amazing man but tried to push them aside for now.

"You know on, here on Felspoon they have a tradition, when someone loses a loved one they tell stories about them, so that everyone who hears the stories can share in keeping their memories alive, keeping the ones they have lost close. No one truly leaves us if we remember them."

"That's beautiful." Nova whispered.

"Hum, it is one of the more pleasant traditions I've ever come across." he paused. "Will you tell me about your Aunt?"

Nova found starting to talk difficult but once she began it became easier and easier. She must have talked for more than an hour sitting by the bonfire and as she talked the weight on her hearts become lighter. When she finally came to a natural stop they continued to sit together in a comfortable silence watching as the stars came out.

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**A/N**

**Sorry this is late! I had a bit of writer's block linking the last chapter to the next and somehow ended up with a whole extra chapter. I hope it's OK I thought it necessary to address this goodbye before Nova could begin to move on.**

**Thanks again to everyone who has followed, favourited or reviewed! And a special thank you to kittymyth96 and Red-rumm! Your comments helped keep me writing when I got stuck. **

**Make me smile, take a minute to review and tell me what you think.**


	9. Chapter 9: Telepathy

**Chapter 9: Telepathy**

They were sitting side by side next to the bonfire and the heat from the crackling flames was pleasantly warming Nova's shoeless feet but she could no longer ignore the heavy, busy sensation building up in her head.

"My head feels weird, like it's so full. A bit like a headache but different" Nova tried to put the sensation into words.

"I was afraid of that." The Doctor admitted twisty his hands together. Nova turned to face him as he explained. "Your new senses are giving you a lot more information than you are used to. You're getting a headache from trying to ignore the sensory input you don't know how to deal with. You haven't got any systems set up, to sort, filter, file away, and retrieve all the new perceptions you're recording. That will become automatic, it should be automatic, but right now everything is bogged down by your memories of how you perceived as a human. Time Lord brains are complex, with lobes dedicated to different functions, but you're having trouble compartmentalising everything. Once you become accustomed to using your brain as it is meant to work, the headache will go."

"Right," nodded Nova, "so I've got a headache because I think like a human?"

"Yes, not that thinking like a human is bad, it just isn't… ideal, for you, now, because you're not, well you are a little bit, a I mean humans are great but unlike humans Time Lords have a great deal of voluntary control over sensory input and our internal workings; like body temperature and your respiratory bypass." Nova was frowning at his babbling but at the mention of a respiratory bypass Nova's eyes lit up with understanding.

"Oh, like when you were almost strangled by the Osirian service robot and that time you were in that airless cavern with the bat thing." Nova remembered.

"Yes, that's… yes." The Doctor scratched his cheek and looked away guiltily. "Um, Nova how much can you remember of those dreams?"

"Well, some of the dreams were more complete than others and sometimes there would just be snapshots, they faded pretty quickly."

"Oh, well of course, there's no way that much information could have stayed in the brain of the human you, without causing complete cerebral shut-down." he said, as if it was just oh-so-obvious. "But I'm not so sure about now. Can you remember the time I was mistaken for the lyre player Maximus Pettulian with Emperor Nero" he tested, using a random early memory to try and work out what she could recall.

"Oh I remember that, that was back when you looked old and had white hair. You just mimed playing the lyre, and they were all too conceited to admit they couldn't hear anything. Then you set fire to the Emperor's plans for the rebuilding of Rome, with your glasses. That gave him the idea of burning the city, and you were making these awful allusions to lions like 'roaring success' because he was planning on feeding you to lions in the area!" Nova exclaimed all in one breath.

"Awful!" The Doctor interrupted indignantly. "What do you mean awful? They were very witty, under the circumstances." He huffed, straightening his bowtie. "But more importantly that much detail can't be in your head all the time?" He peered curiously into Nova's eyes as if he hoped to find answers that way.

"No, not all the time, normally it's all a bit of a vague jumble. It's just when something reminds me of a certain event and I really focus on it the memories become quite clear and detailed."

The Doctor thought for a moment his hand pressed against his forehead. He didn't want her burdened by his memories but suspected that they couldn't be easily removed without causing damage.

"I can help you to lock those dreams away." He said.

"I don't want to lose them." Nova immediately protested. The Doctor looked up surprised at her sudden outburst. "I mean I've had these memories in my head for as long as I can remember. I can't, I can't lose that…" She stopped herself from staying 'as well', letting the sentence hang unfinished between them. The Doctor finished it in his own head, she had lost so much of what she knew, and of course she was afraid of losing anymore of who she was.

"You will still get glimpses," he said softly, "and you will be able to recall specific things if you want to but you'll find it much easier to process your own thoughts once your mind is less cluttered."

"Okay, yeah, less cluttered sounds good." Nova nodded. The Doctor seemingly unable to sit any longer jumped to his feet and started pacing.

"We also need to work on your mental shielding, or lack thereof. There are far too many entities out there, with telepathic ability that could hurt your mind if you can't protect it."

Nova looked alarmed at this idea. "What?" She stammered.

"Oh don't worry," he waved his arms unconcernedly, "there's no immediate threat here. All the same, the sooner we get back on board the TARDIS, the better, but we can't do that until we sort out what's going on in that mind of yours." He sighed crouching in front of her. "I know that letting me into your mind is probably the last thing you want, right now, but without a bit of control and some mental barriers you're broadcasting your thoughts and feelings for anyone to pick up. Not that I have. I mean, I've been keeping my own barriers in place, but we should sort that out, as soon as possible."

"Broadcasting? You can read my mind?" asked Nova wide-eyed and hanging onto his every word.

"No, No, nothing like that. Well a little like that, well more than that." The Doctor jerked back, moving his hands about expressively as he explained. "All Time Lords were telepathically linked to one another. We could feel each other in our minds, if we wanted to we could share emotions, odd thoughts even hold telepathic conversations over distances, but that's more difficult. But you see without barriers you have no way of controlling what is passed through the link or anyway of stopping someone from entering your mind."

"How do I put up barriers?" Nova asked, trying to wrap her head around all this information and tie it in with what she had learnt from the memories.

"First we need to give the telepathic centres in your brain a bit of a warm up. Like warming up your muscles before more strenuous exercise."

"How?"

"I'm going to have to be in your head a bit, helping you along. I'll try not to look at your thoughts, put anything you don't want me to see behind a closed door." he said, honestly.

She considered him again and then nodded. The Doctor moved so that he was sat facing her.

"Right then, we are primarily touch telepaths, that is, we can employ touch-enabled mental manipulation such as thought sharing, memory projection and mind-to-mind conversation. Generally the most polite way to enter another mind is with your fingers on the other person's temples, but any contact will do, however, I don't recommend head butting, it hurts quite a lot!" He added with an exaggerated wince, which made Nova smile and relax a bit.

"Ready?" he asked.

"I think so." Nova immediately tensed up again. The Doctor placed his right hand gently on her temple.

"Try and relax, close your eyes and imagine that you're looking into your mind. Like it's a corridor or maybe a house with lots of rooms." Nova closed her eyes and tried to do as he said. She could feel a gentle presence in her mind, a feather light touch that was purely mental. It was a bit like when you get that sense that someone is watching you but this was pleasant and felt familiar.

"Yes, that's me," The Doctor answered out loud.

Nova found herself basking in the feeling. She was surprised at how natural it felt not at all weird or alien and realised that during her time as a human she had been missing this desperately, without even knowing what she was missing. The feeling of her father's presence in her mind. She must have felt this every day for the first 10 months of her life and then it was taken away.

"I'm here. I will always be here. You will never be alone again. I promise." The sincerity and hurt in his voice reminded Nova that he had suffered a greater loss. What was it like to have a whole planet of Time Lords connected to you and then nothing? She couldn't imagine. Nova opened an eye to peek at The Doctor.

"Concentrate, Nova." The Doctor had already opened his eyes and was looking at her. Dismayed Nova realised that he must have caught what she was thinking.

"Sorry."

"It's okay. And yes, I've missed being able to feel anyone up here. But your presence is… you fill my mind, Nova." he whispered giving her a small smile. "Now, close your eyes, again." Nova complied a look of concentration on her face. The Doctor sighed deeply before closing his own eyes once more. It had been a long time since he'd connected to another Time Lord mind, he hoped that he wasn't too rusty. "Do you see the rooms yet?" he asked as he gently guided her perception.

Nova gasped at the sudden awareness of her own mind. She could see everything... her memories, her thoughts, the dreamt memories of The Doctor's, all the information from her senses...everything was spinning around in a haze inside her head. It was overwhelming and she started to panic. The Doctor quickly took her hand in his left and felt her hand tighten on his in response.

"Calm down, Nova. Focus on me. We are going to sort through it, together." The Doctor's voice was calm and reassuring, as was his presence in her mind. Nova focused on his comforting presence until her breathing slowed again and she felt ready to continue.

"You need to organise and separate your mental processes, conscious thought, memories, body control and sensory input, then we can reach your telepathic centre. Right now everything's jumbled together."

"Yeah, I can see that now." She said trying to sound sarcastic but finding her voice a little shaky still.

"Not to worry we'll soon have this place spick and span. First thing we need to do is box off the memories you received from me. You'll still have access to them, but they will be contained."

Having seen the state of her mind Nova felt thankful that this enormous load of memories did not have to live amongst her own. Slowly, with the Doctor's guidance Nova began to categorize and file away both his memories and her own into separate 'rooms'. Occasionally she would picture a door when she came across a particular memory and felt The Doctor sit back a bit letting her file it away. Then they went on to organise the parts that dealt with mental processes, conscious thought, body control and sensory input The Doctor guiding her briefly in how each part of her brain worked as they sorted until at last The Doctor declared they only had the telepathic centre left.

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**A/N**

**Thanks again to everyone who has followed, favourited or reviewed!**

**Hope you liked the original series references! **

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	10. Chapter 10: I Spy

**Chapter 10: I Spy**

"There doesn't seem to be any damage and the neural structures have formed and developed correctly." The Doctor announced of her telepathic centre. "So, let's start with a simple warm up, we'll try out your mental communication skills, with physical contact this shouldn't be too difficult. It may help if you put your hand on my temple as well. Since you are going to be active in communicating to me, rather than just letting me form the connection." Nova reached out and placed her hand on the Doctor's forehead feeling a bit silly as she did so. She wondered what anyone passing by would think if they saw them.

"_They would think we are having a telepathic communication._" He said in her mind.

Nova was surprised by the lack of sound. She had been half expecting mental communication to sound like that echo-y effect they often used in films but this was nothing like that. The words or rather the meaning arrived in her head suffused by The Doctor's unmistakable presence.

"_Every Time Lord had a unique telepathic signature, it was how we identified each other. Voices and outward appearance change with regeneration but this stays the same_." Explained The Doctor, catching some of her thoughts. "_Now try and send something back_."

"_Is this right_?" She thought. The Doctor received a picture of a question mark along with the hesitant query. "Was that Okay?" Nova asked out loud. Upon opening her eyes she found The Doctor looking back at her with the biggest smile on his face.

"That was magnificent!" He laughed. Did you mean to send a picture as well?

"Um, I'm not sure, I was…"

"_When you communicate this way you can use pictures and emotions as well as thoughts, in many cultures it's considered more trustworthy if you do_. _I didn't mention that before because generally it's a skill that takes a while to get the hang of_." The Doctor sent his feelings of fatherly pride and happiness along with this statement. Making Nova embarrassed and delighted all at once.

_"Oooh! Let's play I spy! I'll start. I spy with my little eye something beginning with T." _The Doctor's abrupt change of subject caught Nova a little off guard but she decided to go along with it.

"_Urm… trees? Twig? Thorn bush?" _Nova guessed, carefully sending a picture of each item as she thought of them.

_"Nope, no and those are not really thorns..."_

_"Tweed_?" Nova chuckled as she sent a picture of The Doctor's jacket and her distaste. She was really feeling quite pleased with herself at managing to send all of that at the same time.

"_Oi! It's cool_." The Doctor protested, causing her to snicker out loud as he tried to adjust the jacket one handed.

Nova thought for a moment. "_TARDIS_!" she sent back.

"_Yes! Very good. Now it's your turn, but first I want you to put up a barrier, like a closed room and only think of your 'I spy' within the barrier or I might see what it is_."

"_How_?"

"_You've already created some when you pictured those doors. It's the same idea just something a little sturdier_." The Doctor sent a picture of a reinforced room.

Nova pictured herself in a room putting the lock on the inside and making sure that The Doctor's presence was kept firmly outside. Then she thought of her 'I spy'. Nova then realised she didn't know how to communicate the letter to the Doctor without letting him see the answer. She panicked for just a moment, stuck in her locked room. Could she leave the room and still keep the answer here? She tried it. Letting her consciousness flit back to telepathic communication but leaving the single thought of her answer behind and locked up.

"_I spy with my little eye something beginning with S_." She sent.

"I have absolutely no idea!" The Doctor exclaimed gleefully out loud. "That's brilliant! Well done. You just figured out how to protect a single thought with a mental barrier. Excellent. Now let's put some more barriers in place. Mental barriers are your mind's defence mechanism, without them you can't filter what gets in or out of your head, which is the main reason why your mind was so overwhelmed by the TARDIS greeting you. Now you've made one, we need to work on making stronger defences around everything; layering up your barriers, each 'room' needs its own set of barriers as well as some around your whole mind."

Nova grinned, "That was the real point of the 'I spy' game wasn't it?"

"Can't get anything past you, huh." A crooked, happy, smile appeared on the Time Lord's face. "And I do happen to like I spy, I did invent it after all, teaches you lots of things like observation, as well as how to make mental barriers."

"Okay. So how do I layer barriers then?" Nova asked eagerly.

The Doctor directed Nova through creating layer upon layer of barriers. Until his presence was left on, what she now thought of as, the 'doorstep' of her mind. Once Nova had become quite good at building barriers and had worked out how to flit between 'locked rooms' and had even built what she pictured as armour around her consciousness, she was feeling far more confident about her own mind.

Until the Doctor said; "Good, that should do, now we're going to practice using these barriers." At which point Nova's new found confidence abruptly took a hike. Sensing this the Doctor suggested something he would never normally do.

"First how about a demonstration; try to look into my mind, just push your consciousness towards mine. It's okay you won't hurt me and you won't get in anywhere I don't want you to see."

She concentrated and closed her eyes. Pushing towards the presence she could feel.

"I've got most of my barriers up. You can tell I'm here but nothing else." The Doctor surmised.

"Yeah."

"What about now?" He purposefully dropped some of his barriers as he felt her push toward him again.

"Oh!" She exclaimed out loud, catching a glimpse of a 'hallway' that was defiantly not hers. Then she was abruptly pushed out. She had just been in The Doctors mind! She realised with a mix of awe and disbelief.

"And I don't let just anyone in there." She could hear the grin in his voice. Now she knew what to look for she could sense him lazily putting back the last few barriers in his mind. "Now it's your turn" he said "put up all your barriers and if I do get in, I want you to try pushing me out just like I did to you."

"OK" Nova said, taking a deep breath and screwing her eyes closed in concentration. The moment all her barriers were raised she could feel The Doctor's presence push against them, trying to gain access to her mind. It was uncomfortable and tiring. Soon her barriers started to fail and he slipped past. Having grown used to The Doctor being in her mind, she didn't panic but found herself wondering, what it would feel like if someone else managed to get past her barriers. She didn't want to dwell on that thought. Remembering the sensation of being pushed out of The Doctor's mind, Nova tried to do the same to him. It wasn't easy and took her several attempts to manage it.

"Come on Nova, you can do better than that, let's try again." He encouraged. Worried about letting him down, Nova built up her barriers again. She struggled on against his stronger and more practised mental skills, through sheer determination. They continued practising until he announced, "good! That's enough for now Nova. You're getting tired, you don't want to overdo it." Slowly, he receded from her mind and moved his hand from her temple.

Nova looked around it was still night or possibly early morning, the air was chill. Her mind felt tired but lighter and there was no sign of a headache any more. Nova was glad she could still faintly feel The Doctor's comforting presence at the back of her mind despite the lack of contact. Nova drew her knees up hugging them, noticing only a slight stiffness from sitting still for so long, she didn't feel particularly cold as such but she was aware of the temperature change all the same. The Doctor placed his jacket around her shoulders, and moved to stoke up the bonfire.

"We'll stay here a little longer, give your mind time to rest, before going back to the TARDIS." He said kindly.

Although there was no illumination other than the fire and the stars and multiple moons Nova could still see reasonably well. 'Time Lord sight', she mused. It was daunting, of course, shifting one's expectations this radically and Nova felt she was handling it quite well, considering.

The Doctor after lamenting the lack of marshmallows in his pockets sprawled on his back and started to point out different constellations and galaxies, mentioning the planets they held and species that lived there. Nova listened enraptured, not long ago the prospect of university and seemed like a huge adventure, but now, the realm of possibilities that opened up before her was so vast. It was like looking out on a world with no horizons. She didn't know what would happen next, where she was going or what she was going to do. It was both terrifying and exhilarating, it was almost too much for her frayed emotions and all she could do was cling to the here and now. To hold on to the one fact in all this uncertainty; The Doctor. She was still a little worried that she wouldn't live up to his expectations, she was no River Song or Amy Pond. How could she ever live up to such a heritage? She remembered what it had felt like when he mentally communicated his pride and happiness at her being able to send pictures. More than anything she wanted to feel that again. She couldn't disappoint him, she would do anything not to disappoint him.

The Doctor knew there was still things that needed to be said and explained. But not quite yet. Instead he allowed his mind to wonder, imagining a future with another Time Lord in it, his daughter! Travelling together, teaching her about the Universe. She was amazing, he just couldn't get over her existence! In the distance The TARDIS's windows were just visible as a faint glow. Maybe they could even grow another TARDIS, dock it with his… he felt excitement and fear stir in equal measures. He didn't know if he knew how to be a father any more. He wasn't sure that he wasn't going to make a complete mess of it, but he was going to do his best. During his so called retirement he had practically given up on living for himself, but he could live for her. This girl, whose presence was a brilliant little buzz in his mind. She was his second chance, a miracle that he really didn't reserve, but couldn't let go of.

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**A/N**

**Thanks again to everyone who has followed, favourited or reviewed!**

**If it wasn't clear the speech in italics was for mental communication all other speech was out loud. **

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